They are who we thought they were by Egantx7

Champion(s):

PeskinK


Runner(s)-Up:

BarkerC
"We fight for better days."


Quiz Description

NOTE: Some quizzes, like this one, may absolutely contain language that may not be suitable for all people. If you may be offended by some of the words that George Carlin thinks shouldn't be on TV, then you may wish to not scroll down, and should instead select a different quiz, hopefully one of higher quality than this one. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Jimmy Dugan once admonished one of his outfielders that "There's no crying in baseball!!" Even Jimmy, however, would have to agree that sports can get very emotional (he did just moments later either get mad enough or funny enough to say that an umpire looked like a penis with a hat on.... so yeah). When the brain is soaked in adrenaline and testosterone, things aren't going so well, things are a bit chaotic, and you are facing bright lights and cameras answering some questions that range from the pointed to the ridiculous, it is easy for a coach or athlete to lose their cool.

This quiz walks us down memory lane as we recall those moments when coaches and athletes were melting down or sometimes just being more honest than they should have been. While I will not be able to do this in person, the winner should arrange to bend over and have their ass crowned at an appropriate ceremony.

Full Results:

Rank Player Total %ile 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
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1 PeskinK 473 99 15
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2 BarkerC 465 97 15
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3 GoodmanDL 396 95 15
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4 TowJ 394 93 15
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5 GrecoD 375 91 15
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6 MorrisB 367 89 15
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7 QuintongJ 365 87 15
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8 WellsW 348 85 15
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9 OppenheimS 343 83 15
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10 SchroederS 341 82 15
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11 helitzur 339 80 15
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12 SheahanJ 338 78 15
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13 JastrzebskiS 334 76 15
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14 PerryS 328 74 15
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15 FlaxmanR 322 72 15
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16 BurgerM 315 70 00
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17 HightB 301 68 15
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18 SochackiA 300 66 15
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19 ConnorA 299 64 15
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19 FischerB 299 64 15
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21 OBrienF 290 61 15
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22 GrahamJ 288 59 15
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23 WeikleB 281 57 15
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24 ChrisRosenberg 275 55 00
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25 Adam 274 53 15
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26 AllenJ 258 49 00
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26 DaviesML 258 49 15
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26 thorsleyd 258 49 15
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26 randalleng 258 49 00
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30 KelsoT 255 44 15
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31 SpoeriJ 254 42 00
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32 WangS 243 40 15
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33 UllspergerA 239 37 15
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33 GiaquintoM 239 37 15
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35 JordanG 233 34 15
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36 chc 231 33 15
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37 HulkaE 228 31 00
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38 BoyerA 218 29 00
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39 DBrick 216 27 15
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40 HessJa 214 25 15
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41 GoldsteinB 212 22 00
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41 KaufmanK 212 22 15
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43 quarterrican 207 19 15
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44 MatthewsP 165 16 00
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44 ChenLL 165 16 15
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46 RoseM 151 14 00
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47 WareD 134 12 00
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48 BeningoS 81 10 00
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49 musicguy595 78 8 15
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50 RobinJRichards 70 6 00
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51 AndersonM2 64 4 00
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52 MorrisT 55 2 00
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53 creedofhubris 0 1 00
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Questions:

According to Dennis Green, the reason his team took the field against the Bears was because "the Bears are who we thought they were" (apparently contractual obligations were not considered a real "reason" to take the field ... Green is a smart guy, and may have been looking for an existential reason to take the field, who knows?) Anyhow, which team was Green coaching when the Bears erased a 20 point deficit in the second half of a 16 October 2006 game for the historic 24-23 win, prompting one of the great rants in history.

Click to Reveal Answer
Arizona Cardinals

It is usually a sign that a manager will soon be fired when he refers to the home fans as those 3,000 fucking people who show up every day. This manager also informed the assembled press that those fans could kiss my fuckin' ass right downtown, AND PRINT IT! Later calling the fans nickel dime people who are mutherfuckers who don't even work. To be fair, this man did not know that Les Grobstein was recording him, and to also be fair, he was defending his players who were being booed by the nearly empty stadium. To continue the fairness, they were the Cubs, so they likely deserved to be booed, and the fans were Cubs fans, so this manager wasn't wholly incorrect ;-) Name this 1982-83 Cubs manager who was fired immediately after his immortal rant went public.

Click to Reveal Answer
Lee Elia

Exact five word answer needed (words need to be in order).

The rant most famous for this five word phrase was prompted by an article titled "QB Change: All About Attitude" written by Jenni Carlson, who based her story on rumors that Bobby Reid was not playing through injuries, and required his mom to help him psychologically. In fact Reid's lower performance was because he was playing through injuries, was being forced to adapt to a system that was not ideal, and had been getting inconsistent communication from his coach.

Carlson's story gave that coach, Mike Gundy, an opportunity to heroically defend Reid, even though Gundy was partially responsible for Reid's problems. Identify these famous five words said by Coach Mike Gundy in a post-game press conference on 22 September 2007 which follow the wordsCome after me!.

Click to Reveal Answer
I'm a man, I'm 40!

Fill in the blank with a player's name

Paul Olden, the former PA announcer for the Yankees was interviewing Tommy Lasorda after a 15 inning devastating (and rare) loss to the Cubs on 14 May 1978. Olden's question was "What's your opinion of ______'s performance?" What followed was Tommy dropping four f-bombs, a few "Jesus Christs" and a few repetitions of the question ... which clearly showed he had an opinion of not liking the situation. This man hit 442 home runs, the most of any non-Hall of Famer from the pre-roids era.

Identify this Adam Dunn of yesteryear who on 14 May 1978 pounded out 3 home runs against Lasorda's Dodgers, including a three run shot in the top of the 15th to win the game.

Click to Reveal Answer
(Dave) Kingman

Name both Johns On 13 February 1984, someone threw a post-basketball game press conference and a pre-boxing press conference broke out. In the wake of UMass defeating Temple, UMass' John was giving a press conference when Temple's John broke in to lecture him about riding the officials to turn a game, when he already had a good team. When UMASS John interrupted Temple John, they started moving toward each other, intercepted by players only at the last second before Temple John (once) threatened to kill and (twice) threatened to kick UMASS John's ass. We'd likely live in a better world if Temple John had kicked his ass. Identify the two college hoops coaches who nearly came to blows that day.

Click to Reveal Answer
(John) Calipari (UMASS) and (John) Chaney (Temple)

One of the poorest planned statements from a color commentator in college basketball history is There's a good chance Bobby Knight's been ejected from this basketball game. In fact, there was no chance Knight was staying in the game because this came after Bobby's most infamous escapade, whipping his chair across the floor just before an opposing player took technical foul shots. On that date, 23 February 1985, which Big 10 team was Knight's Indiana squad hosting in Bloomington?

Click to Reveal Answer
Purdue Boilermakers

Give first, last, or both names of the boxer who would fit in the blank.

After defeating Lou Savarese on 24 June 2000, Mike Tyson started off his post-bout interview with Jim Gray respectfully invoking the Shahadah. Then he got all Mike Tysoney. Whom, was he calling out in this poetic interview (and who's first name would fill in the blank)? This man would KO Tyson on 8 June 2002.

I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, and most ruthless champion there's ever been. There's no one can stop me. _____ is a conqueror? No, I'm Alexander, he's no Alexander. I'm the best ever. There's never been anybody as ruthless. I'm Sonny Liston, I'm Jack Dempsey. There's no one like me. I'm from their cloth. There's no one that can match me. My style is´╗┐ impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah.

Click to Reveal Answer
Lennox Lewis

On 1 June 1991, this man had to deal with his catcher be rushed to the hospital after taking a Bobby Thigpen fastball in the ear, and then a massive fight breaking out against his former team. After the game, AP reporter Bob Glass stated that That had to be a very scary moment. This man responded by raising his voice and saying he didn't want to talk about it. When Glass yelled at him not to yell, this man heatedly terminated the interview, and walked away. Glass responded Don't pull that. Be a man," Security was able to rescue Glass, and eject him from the locker room before this man and his entire team beat Glass to shards and send him to join Terry Steinbach in the hospital. Identify this usually soft-spoken manager who, at the time, was managing the defending AL champions.

Click to Reveal Answer
Tony LaRussa

One reporter asked this man "Did you consider (George) Brett for (Keith) Miller with the bases loaded in the seventh inning? It sounded like an innocuous question, but the response was No, no don't ask me these stupid fucking ass questions ... No ... end of ... What follows was a flurry of tossed microphones, tape recorders, a phone, and the entire contents of this manager's desk top. One reporter had a gash opened on his cheek as this manager continued to rant against stupid questions. Identify this manager who, while wearing his underwear, famously ended his rant with Now, put that in your fucking pipe and smoke it.

Click to Reveal Answer
Hal McRae

One word answer needed

Earlier in the day of 7 May 2002, Larry Brown had questioned one of his player's work ethic. Later, that player had an end of the year news conference, a depressing affair after a first round playoff exit as a follow up to making the NBA Finals the previous year. Reporter Phil Jasner was called out a bit toward the end of the rant, which according to one book was delivered while drunk. Identify the word which was used 24 times in the rant on that day (the 24 includes versions of the word), including to end the phrase How the hell can I make my teammates better by _____.

Click to Reveal Answer
Practice

This man's rant is rare because it happened before a game instead of after or during a game. This man's rant was triggered by a tweet from a Cincinnati Enquirer reporter who noted that Devin Mesoraco, a catcher for the Reds, was on his flight, and would thus not be available to play. Before the next day's game on 20 April 2015, this man sat down with about 10 reporters and castigated them about reporting player movements that could affect a game. Name this manager of the Reds who surprisingly is still on the job despite what must be a record 77 f-bombs (or versions thereof) when he forgot that the press does not actually work for him or the Cincinnati Reds.

Click to Reveal Answer
Bryan Price

3 Answers needed. Fill in the blanks, words must be in exact order.

Mike Singletary didn't have much luck coaching the 49ers, and the first sign may have been this rant which was prompted by Vernon Wells' shenanigans during Singletary's first game as head coach on 26 October 2008. Which words are missing from the text below?

I would rather play with 10 people and just get penalized all the way until we gotta do something else, rather than play with 11 when I know that right now that person is not sold out to be part of this team. It is more about them than it is about the team. Cannot ____ with 'em. Cannot ____ with 'em. Cannot ____ with 'em. Can't do it.

Click to Reveal Answer
Play, Win, Coach