Jon Bois: A National Treasure by kanyewesteros

WHAT INANE BUT ACCURATE PHRASE did Jon Bois coin to reference the clutch abilities of Tom Brady?

WHAT INVENTED TERM does Jon Bois use for a football score that has never happened before?

Jon Bois's Breaking Madden series began with WHAT FICTIONAL MAN, a very short (but very round) quarterback who has played for the Jacksonville Jaguars, New York Jets, and several other franchises?

The current location of Jon Bois's writing is a subsite of SB Nation known as WHAT? The logo is a brontosaurus, but the title refers to a different animal entirely.

Jon Bois tweets the same phrase, once a week, on a specific day of the week, and has been doing so since 2014. WHAT IS THAT PHRASE?

In All Is Lost, the first series finale of NBA Y2K, Jon Bois destroyed the NBA by filling its draft classes with horrible players until the league was an unwatchable mess. WHAT TWO MEN (who played basketball at the same college) were the last remaining real NBA players?

One of my favorite Jon Bois articles is called "ARE YOU THAT STUPID." It is about Gordon Ramsay and a phenomenally arrogant and stupid man named Joe Nagy. ON WHAT TELEVISION PROGRAM, broadcast from 2007-2014, did these two men interact?

WHAT WEBSITE, named after a line from Calvin and Hobbes and now folded under the SB Nation umbrella, once held the writings of people such as Jon Bois, Brandon Stroud, and Bill Hanstock?

The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles, written by Jon Bois in 2014, is unlike any other piece of writing that I have ever seen. Seriously, I cannot even begin to describe it. If you haven't read it, go read it. In the novella, Tim Tebow plays for the Toronto Argonauts. Some other members of his team are fictional characters, but some are real. NAME ANY TWO OF THE FIVE REAL FORMER NFL PLAYERS PROMINENTLY MENTIONED ON THE TEAM, which include a running back, two wide receivers, a kicker, and a punter.

In 2016, Jon Bois wrote much less, spending more time on a webseries he produced, directed, starred in, narrated, etc. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THAT WEBSERIES, which focuses on interesting events that Jon wants to talk about (usually involving sports, but not always)

WHAT RETAIL STORE did Jon Bois once work at for several years? He has written about it on several occasions, including a series of vignettes he called a eulogy in 2014?

Many of Jon Bois's tweets have made reference to "Dabo Swinney and his boys down in the swamp." TO WHAT COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM does that refer?

Jon Bois and fellow SB Nation writer Ryan Nanni hosted a podcast between 2014 and 2015. WHAT WAS THE SPORTS-RELATED NAME OF THAT PODCAST?

In a truly bizarre standalone piece of writing from 2013, Jon Bois wrote an article in the second person about you (the reader) going over to an NBA player's apartment and having a thoroughly mediocre and bizarre time, involving a poor beer selection, undercooked meat, and a Road To Perdition game DVD. WHICH NBA PLAYER was featured in this article, a guard who has played for (among other teams) the Nets and Rockets?

In late 2014, Jon Bois created a twitter account, gave the password out publicly, and chronicled the chaos that ensued. The title "Nothing Gold Can Stay: In Pursuit Of The Best Sports Account On Twitter" refers to a poem by WHAT AMERICAN POET, published in the Yale Review in 1923?