Johnny Carson Guest Hosts by chrisivision

Champion(s):

ChrisRosenberg
The odds of me winning a quiz are sufficiently low to not compel me to have something witty here.


Runner(s)-Up:

PolinskyL
If you're gonna procrastinate, do it right


Quiz Description

To honor Garry Shandling, here are 12 quotes from actual Tonight Show broadcasts when Johnny Carson was not hosting. I will give you a quote and a year, and you name the guest host who said it. Good luck!

Full Results:

Rank Player Total %ile 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Money Value (% Incorrect): 25 99 67 59 99 84 25 09 92 92 42 84
1 ChrisRosenberg 293 95 15
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59
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92
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2 PolinskyL 258 87 15
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59
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84
3 Mark 206 79 15
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09
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42
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4 JonesRW 193 70 15
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59
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09
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5 elfm 176 62 15
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09
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6 felsenheldd 136 54 15
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67
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09
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7 ConnorA 127 45 00
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8 VenguswamyK 98 37 00
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09
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9 GorowaraR 94 29 15
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10 KMG365 79 20 15
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11 gabrysiakj 69 12 00
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09
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12 BoyerA 64 4 15
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Questions:

"Why can't you have a relationship with me that means something! Now I'm standing there and a guy in the crowd says, 'How come you left Mash?'" (1976)

Click to Reveal Answer
McLean Stevenson

when Ed asks if he can box Jake LaMotta, "Yes, but I don't want to be a character actor, thank you very much!" (1971)

Click to Reveal Answer
Burt Reynolds

"I've been very busy this week. I've been working on a TV special, have a new record coming out and I really didn't have time to work out a monologue." (1978)

Click to Reveal Answer
Steve Martin

"It's really a great honor for me to be here on The Tonight Show to guest host. You see, what happened is that they ran out of humans. I mean, NBC's had a lot of dogs..." (1979)

Click to Reveal Answer
Kermit the Frog

"Our next guest ladies and gentleman is a very dear friend and he is the star of the television series C.P.A., or I.R.S., or See-Something Sharky." (1977)

Click to Reveal Answer
Frank Sinatra

introducing a guest who uses his hands as an instrument: "He takes this unique skill very seriously as he should, and I think you guys should play along too. I know I plan to, whatever the man wants." (1979)

Click to Reveal Answer
David Letterman

"Of course, you may have noticed that Doc Severinsen is wearing all 12 levels of Super Mario Bros. on his jacket." (1992)

Click to Reveal Answer
Jay Leno

"My friend the tramp Heidi Abramowitz finally got married. She was poster child for herpes. The only bad thing was the bride on the cake was bow-legged. This girl was a tramp, could not keep her legs together."(1982)

Click to Reveal Answer
Joan Rivers

"Johnny Carson is on vacation for a change. Last night I did a joke that was not terribly funny and we did offend some of our friends in Mississippi. I'll watch the jokes much more closely the next time and I hope that makes them feel better and if it doesn't, heeeeeyyyyy." (1969)

Click to Reveal Answer
Jerry Lewis

"Ladies and gentlemen, from the Beatles, John Lennon and Paul McCartney." (1968)

Click to Reveal Answer
Joe Garagiola

"Ed's brother-in-law got married...we went to Senor Pico's. We threw ourselves on a Mexican hat for half hour...you undressed and went Viva Zapata. Newhart kept saying "I think it's a heck of a night" and started drinking from a lamp...You big fat Irish bum. I don't want to embarrass you but your underwear is starting to rip." (1979)

Click to Reveal Answer
Don Rickles

"You probably think I'm one of the other guest hosts. There's been just a flurry of them since I've been here. I'm not Jay Leno, I'm not Billy Crystal, I'm not Bill Cosby uhh I'm not Betty White--alright I am Betty White." (1986)

Click to Reveal Answer
Garry Shandling