Who Said It: Hedonistic Will Ferrell Character Roger Klarvin or Pulitzer Prize–Winning Historian Richard Rhodes? by DoyleE

Champion(s):

SherwoodSam
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.


Runner(s)-Up:

DBrick
Motto schmotto.


Quiz Description

The answer to each of these is either Klarvin* or Rhodes, so your odds are pretty good even if you're stumped.

* Or Clarvin—sources differ.

Full Results:

Rank Player Total %ile 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Money Value (% Incorrect): 19 19 19 07 13 07 25 25 07 44 19 32
1 SherwoodSam 294 96 15
15
19
15
19
15
15
15
07
15
15
25
15
15
44
15
15
2 DBrick 279 90 15
15
15
15
15
13
15
15
25
00
00
15
15
44
15
15
32
3 ThompsonA 276 84 15
19
15
15
19
15
15
15
07
15
15
15
07
15
44
15
15
4 SegalP 273 78 15
19
15
15
19
15
15
13
15
15
25
15
15
00
15
15
32
5 AllenJ 254 71 15
19
15
15
19
15
07
15
15
00
00
15
15
15
44
15
15
6 Projectyl 248 65 15
15
19
15
15
07
15
13
15
00
00
15
15
15
44
15
15
7 FrostL 246 59 15
19
15
15
19
15
00
15
07
15
00
15
07
15
44
15
15
8 Pelc 229 53 15
15
19
15
15
07
15
13
15
15
15
25
15
15
15
00
00
9 HensleyB 227 46 15
15
19
00
15
07
15
15
07
15
15
25
15
00
15
19
15
10 RaiaB 217 40 15
19
15
15
19
15
15
15
07
15
15
15
07
15
15
00
00
11 BoulierJ 214 34 15
19
15
00
00
15
15
13
15
07
15
25
00
15
15
15
15
12 Consigliari 211 28 15
15
19
15
15
07
15
13
15
07
15
15
15
00
00
15
15
13 PolinskyL 193 21 15
15
15
19
15
07
15
15
00
00
15
15
00
00
00
15
32
14 Zogtastic 178 15 00
00
15
19
15
15
15
07
15
15
25
15
07
00
15
00
00
15 LuskT 163 9 00
00
15
19
15
07
15
15
15
25
15
15
07
00
00
00
00
16 randalleng 0 3 00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00
00

Questions:

"That evening, Virginia and I made love so powerful methinks I heard the god Zeus chuckling from on high."

Click to Reveal Answer
Klarvin

"We made love naked in the warm spring rain on the new grass beside a battery of Nike-Zeus missiles that shouldered toward heaven like a quiver of Cupid's darts."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes

"For three glorious days I handfed my lover plump strawberries and smoked duck meat. She purred and giggled under the weight of my thrusting body, her mouth agape with a mixture of pleasure, longing, and duck meat."

Click to Reveal Answer
Klarvin

"I brought gourmet box lunches that we ate at her round dining table in the alcove outside her bedroom, her water bed waiting beyond the open door. The water bed anchored her hips; when we made love on it I felt as if I were plunging into the solid earth."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes

"She raised her knees and pliéd. A nest, delicate small wings. I slipped my hands under her buttocks, like raising a deep, refreshing bowl."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes

"[A]lthough the waters above appear calm, below the surface there is a frenzy of activity: hands groping, fingers fluttering, thighs twitching in the anticipation of lovemaking that will take place in this hot tub in less than twelve minutes."

Click to Reveal Answer
Klarvin

"I lowered myself back into the warm water and we returned to nesting together, playing her hand spray across our bodies, dissolving into a languor that the cats eventually penetrated with their inquisitive meows."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes

"I told her I liked her cats, which I did, liked them watching. They reminded me that the room where we lay naked together was a provincial outpost of Eden, as much of Eden as we would ever know."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes

"I tell you, Marguerite, the drumbeat possessed my soul as I smeared myself with pork grease, fashioned a crude thong out of my adult-size Hanes underwear, and danced like my ancient tribal ancestors."

Click to Reveal Answer
Klarvin

"Somewhere in the distance, we heard the pounding of native drums. Was it in our minds? We don't know."

Click to Reveal Answer
Klarvin

"Increasingly I'm inside my body, my consciousness compressed, my pelvic basin a collapsing shell, imploding."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes

"The most effective technique I discovered for delaying orgasm was mentally reciting the Gettysburg Address, which I'd memorized in high school. The recitation didn't always work. My brain would extract volumes of juice from Lincoln's seemingly dry and proper text, resourcefully squeezing out the hidden metaphors and sluicing me back to erotic reality again. The onanistic spill or paternal birth ecstasy of 'Our fathers brought forth upon this continent' was particularly treacherous to navigate."

Click to Reveal Answer
Rhodes